In response to a comment from Shayne:

Twitter _ ShayneCurrieNZH_ This stinks to high heaven ...-1

How do I know if I’m dating a despot?

Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe

It’s a jungle out there for innocent citizens like you. We understand.

It’s nice to have someone in your life, someone to hold you close — but how do you know if the guy you’re dating is actually an anti-democratic, nepotistic tyrant?

Take our short survey to find out!

  1. Does he seem to relish attention, but only on his terms? (i.e. Do you think he has narcissistic tendencies?)
  2. Does he surround himself with bodyguards and security — more than your previous dates?
  3. Do some of his ‘friends’ make you feel uncomfortable? (They seem dodgy, unsophisticated, or have macho nicknames like ‘Crusher’.)
  4. Do you sometimes find his excuses and explanations for his actions (like, say, ‘forgetting’ he had breakfast with someone) implausible? Does he change his story much?
  5. Do you sometimes feel he’s being evasive? Related: Is he hard to pin down? Does he seem to always blame other people?
  6. Do you find him overly defensive when you try to criticise him? Will he actually listen to your concerns? Or does he dismiss them as ‘misinformed’ or ‘politically-aligned’?
  7. Have you ever noticed he’s sensitive about how, when, or why he has someone’s number in his phone?
  8. Does he engage in cronyism, e.g. shoulder-tapping friends or personal contacts for jobs?
  9. Have you noticed whether he arranges cushy contracts for large projects to go to people/companies he’s friendly with?
  10. Does he have direct control of any state spy agencies, with little effective oversight? Does it seem he’s already got power but he just always seems to want more?
  11. Have you ever noticed him deploy the police to control, harass or threaten the news media? Especially in an election year?
  12. Does he seem out of touch? e.g. Does he holiday in luxury away from the public eye?

If you answered ‘Yes’ or ‘Sometimes’ to more than five of the questions above, sorry — there’s good chance the guy you’re dating is a despot.

Seek professional help:

– P